Obsessive unwanted thoughts and anxiety go hand and hand. Learning about anxiety and how to cope with it can helpful for the recovery process.
Activating the Parasympathetic Nervous System: Understanding how our bodies respond to stress and anxiety, and what we can do to limit stress hormones
The Autonomic Nervous System takes care of all the involuntary bodily functions that we do not need to consciously think about: breathing, blood pressure, digestion, and the functioning of internal organs. The Autonomic Nervous System has two different branches: the Sympathetic Nervous System and the Parasympathetic Nervous System. Only one of these branches can be activated at a time. So if the Sympathetic Nervous System is on, the Parasympathetic Nervous System is off and vice versa.
The role of the Sympathetic Nervous System is to prepare the body to respond to a threat. It can be triggered into activation by any perceived threat or stressful situation. The Sympathetic Nervous System prepares the body for fight or flight. Heart rate, respiration, and blood pressure increase. Muscles tense. Blood flow to the muscles and brain increases while blood flow to nonessential organs decreases. The adrenal glands are activated and adrenaline is released into the bloodstream. This is a great thing to have when we face a real threat. However, when people are over-stressed and anxious, their Sympathetic Nervous System is triggered too frequently.
For better physical and mental health, we want to reduce how often we activate our Sympathetic Nervous System, and we want to allow our Parasympathetic System to be operating most of the time. The Parasympathetic Nervous System is activated when we are calm and not responding to stress. The Parasympathetic System brings the body back to balance and allows it to “rest and digest”. When the Parasympathetic Nervous System activates, the heart rate and breathing rate slows. Blood pressure lowers and muscles can relax.
A helpful illustration that I’ve encountered is to imagine that the Sympathetic Nervous System is like the gas pedal for the body- it revs things up to get the body ready for fight or flight, and the Parasympathetic Nervous System is like the brake pedal. It slows things down to prepare the body for rest and digest.
When a threat is detected, there is an initial surge of adrenaline in response to the threat. If the perception of a threat continues, cortisol will be released into the bloodstream. And the “gas pedal”(the Sympathetic Nervous System) will be kept on. We want to activate the “brake pedal” (the Parasympathetic Nervous System) to bring our body back to balance and stop the surge of stress hormones into the body.
It can be hard to avoid the activation of the Sympathetic Nervous System (fight or flight), especially when we are anxious or over-stressed. But the good news is that there are things that we can do that cause the Parasympathetic System to activate, which automatically causes the Sympathetic Nervous System to switch off, because only one of these systems can function at a time. By activating the Parasympathetic Nervous System, we can curb the amount of stress hormones released into our bodies. We want to decrease stress hormones in our bodies because stress hormones keep us in a high alert state, which increases our perception of danger.
Deep belly breathing and progressive muscle relaxation are two techniques that you can use anytime, anywhere to activate the Parasympathetic Nervous System.
Deep Belly Breathing
This is an important tool to have in your tool box. When you are feeling stressed or anxious, slow deep breaths can turn on the Parasympathetic Nervous System (and consequently turn off the bodily stress response of the Sympathetic Nervous System). This technique is as simple as it sounds. Try to relax your body, and take slow deep breaths. Some people prefer to count as they breathe to help them keep their breathing at a slow pace. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Focusing your attention on your breathing may also help you to relax.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
You can start with any muscles in your body, but I find that I like to start with my toes and feet. You focus your attention on the muscles in your toes and feet, and you allow those muscles to relax. Some people may prefer to flex or stretch the muscles first and then allow them to relax. Continue up your legs and through the rest of your body. This process of relaxing your muscles and focusing your attention on the process of muscle relaxation will activate the Parasympathetic Nervous System.
Other activities that activate the Parasympathetic Nervous System include meditation, yoga, massage, warm bath, and being in nature.
Bringing Down the Temperature in Your House
Don’t overlook the importance of incorporating these calming (Parasympathetic Nervous System inducing-) practices into your life. When your Sympathetic Nervous System is firing off frequently, you will have an increase of stress hormones in your body. Cortisol, the hormone that is released if the perception of a threat persists, communicates with the region of the brain that controls mood, motivation, and fear. Having excess cortisol in your body actually makes you feel more afraid and therefore more likely to respond in fear and trigger the Sympathetic Nervous System.
When I was in a very high state of anxiety constantly, everything felt like a threat or a trigger. I was having constant adrenaline rushes and filling my body with stress hormones all the time. One of my counselors told me that part of recovery was bringing down the temperature in my house. She told me to imagine that it was a hot summer day, and the thermostat in the house was set to 100 degrees so that the heater was running all day. It would be impossible to cool down. And this is what it is like in our bodies when we are in a very high anxiety state. It can feel impossible to calm down because we have stress hormones surging through our bodies, keeping us keyed up. But little by little, we can bring the temperature in the house down. By activating the Parasympathetic Nervous System, we can help our body to cool down over time. This will not happen immediately. You may continue to have constant adrenaline surges for a while, that’s ok. Just do your best to activate the Parasympathetic System, and that will help you on the way to recovery.
Stressing About Stress
When I read about stress and it’s effects on the body and I’m in a season of life where I am feeling overly stressed, I get stressed about being stressed. I wish that I could just turn off the stress and anxiety, but I cannot. So I get stressed about being stressed, but that is obviously counterproductive.
I believe (from personal experience) that our bodies are incredibly resilient. We can go through intense seasons of stress (even years upon years), and still bring our body back into balance and achieve a peaceful mindset. If you are in a season of high stress, try to accept where you are at. Your body may be reacting to triggers frequently at this time. That’s ok. Instead of getting stressed or distraught about feeling stressed and anxious, try to accept where you are at.
It can be tempting to want to insulate yourself and avoid stressors. I am not encouraging you to take on a lot of extra challenges when you are in an anxious state, but you also do not want to get in a habit of avoiding things too much. Your world can become very small very quickly if you decide to avoid things that may trigger you. You will feel anxious for some time, but you still want to try to move through life, accepting those anxious feelings and thoughts.
Radical Acceptance
Radical acceptance was one of the most important concepts that one of my counselors introduced me to. This is the practice of accepting whatever symptoms anxiety brings your way- whatever physical symptoms or thoughts, try to let them be there and accept them. This can be challenging, especially when your brain is already in an anxious state. But just do your best to radically accept however you feel. I even got to a place where I was trying to celebrate the unpleasant symptoms and feelings of anxiety.
Not only do you want to radically accept the symptoms of anxiety, you also want to accept where you are at. It will take time to recover. Accept that this is a process and that you will continue to feel the negative symptoms of anxiety even as you begin to implement these new concepts into your life. One of my counselors compared recovery to growing a garden. You prepare the soil, you sow the seeds, you water the garden. And you have to wait. Growth will happen, but it takes time. As you practice the things that you are learning, you are preparing the soil and sowing the seeds, but it will take time to see the actual growth. Trust in the process and accept where you are at.
Desensitization
The key to recovering from anxiety is desensitization. This simply means spending time with the things that cause you anxiousness. This could be a place or situation or it could be your own thoughts and feelings that cause you alarm. Whatever what if thoughts cause you anxiety, bring them up intentionally and lean into them. Allow yourself to feel the rush of fear and anxiousness and the physical sensations that accompany the fear. For example, let’s say that someone is afraid of having a panic attack at work. Fearful thoughts occur to him, like: What if I panic in front of everyone? What if I hyperventilate or get dizzy? When he is in the work environment, he allows (and even brings up) these thoughts. He feels the rush of fear and the psychological and physical discomfort, and he sits with those unpleasant feelings. Then he has the what if thoughts again. Through this process, he will desensitize to the thoughts and feelings over time, and those what if thoughts and the unpleasant feelings that they produce will no longer be able to alarm him.
Leaning In and Moving Towards
You want to try to move toward settings and situations that make you anxious. You don’t need to tackle this all at once, but you want to challenge yourself. You want to try to move about life normally- going to work, interacting with others- even though you may feel anxious in those settings. Depending where you are at, this may just begin with going on a walk or getting out of bed and taking a shower. But keep moving toward situations where you feel uncomfortable little by little. Let discomfort be your northern star; move toward what makes you uncomfortable. Spend time with those feelings of discomfort. Open yourself up to them and really feel them. This is hard to do. You are intentionally exposing yourself to that which your fear brain is warning you against. But as you practice this, you will begin to desensitize. And in time, the thoughts, feelings, and situations that cause you such anxiety will no longer be able to trigger you at all.
Becoming an Observer
Learning to become an impartial observer of yourself is a very valuable tool for recovery. Become aware of how anxiety makes you feel physically and mentally. Notice the sensations in your body. Your instinctive reaction to anxious feelings might be to try to ignore them or distract yourself from them or run from them in a sense. But instead, try to actually open yourself up to these unpleasant feelings. Allow yourself to really feel them fully. Expose yourself to these feelings. Spend time with them. Get accustomed to them. I used to experience depersonalization frequently (depersonalization- feeling out of it/out of touch with reality). I hated the feeling of it and I wanted to snap out of it. Feeling depersonalization made me feel more anxious. However, as I began to recover from anxiety, I started experiencing depersonalization less. But it did still come up periodically. When it did come up, I purposefully tried to lean into it. To really feel it. To observe how it felt. I found that over time, depersonalization came up less and less and the episodes passed more quickly. Depersonalization does not bother me as much as it used to because I spent time with it and became more accustomed to it. There is a wide variety of physical symptoms that anxiety can produce. Whatever your personal symptoms are, try to intentionally spend time with them and feel them fully.
Physical Symptoms
Our bodies probably all react similarly to the initial surges of adrenaline when an threat is perceived: increased heart rate and breathing rate, perspiration, sharpened senses, etc. However, ongoing stress and anxiety can produce a wide variety of physical symptoms that can differ for each person. One person may experience digestive issues while another may experience heart palpitations.
Some possible physical symptoms can include: dizziness, headache, chest pain, heart palpitations, tense muscles, nausea/upset stomach, weakness, feeling afraid, feeling like you are going crazy, depersonalization, trembling/shakiness, buzzing sensation in extremities, co-ordination problems/clumsiness, trouble sleeping, cold hands and feet, numbness/tingling, loss of balance, pounding heart or racing heart, crazy thoughts. This is not a comprehensive list. I personally experienced many of these symptoms, but not all. My most pervasive symptoms were weakness, depersonalization, and heart palpitations. Each person’s body will have different symptoms.
I read several books by Claire Weekes (http://www.anxietycoach.com/claire-weekes.html) when I was still in the worst part of my anxiety disorder, and one thing she said that was reassuring to me is that we each have a set of symptoms that anxiety disorder/stress produces in us. She said that these will always be the symptoms we will face. This was reassuring to me because it can be scary to read the long lists of potential symptoms and worry that you may develop some other symptom on the list. For the most part, your body has a particular way of responding to ongoing stress and anxiety, and those are the physical symptoms that you will have to learn to accept until you recover. Anxiety runs in my family. My brother experiences loss of balance, as if the floor is moving beneath his feet. Sometimes he feels like he is walking at an angle. I have experienced a touch of those sensations, but not like he has. That is how his body reacted to the ongoing stress and anxiety. My body is different and has different physical manifestations.
Physical symptoms can be very unsettling for some people. Try your best to expose yourself to those physical symptoms and spend time with them. This will feel very uncomfortable. But this will help you to grow familiar with them so that cannot alarm you so much.
Panic Attacks
I found a great resource that helps you understand panic attacks and how to get through them at: http://www.anxietycoach.com/overcoming-panic-attacks.html
Positive Self Talk
One phrase that I found particularly helpful during my recovery process was: I feel afraid, but I am not in any danger. This is a simple statement of fact, and I noticed my body taking it down a notch when I said this to myself. This statement acknowledges the feelings of fear/anxiousness, but reminds that there is no real danger or threat.
You want to practice self-compassion during this season of anxiety and stress. Rather than beat yourself up about not being the person you wish that you could be, try to accept and love yourself where you are at. Be as kind to yourself as you can be.